healing
Life | Uncategorized

Monday Musings | Vol. 4

September 24, 2018

Good Monday morning, friends!!!  I am so excited to be back on here and hope to be a little more consistent now.  There has been so much going on.  Some I can talk about right now and some I can’t.  And no, I am not getting my own show on HGTV and Better Homes and Gardens is not photographing my home, lol!!

Amazingly it was one year ago yesterday that I performed at the halftime show with all of my other sisters from the DBC.  It was an exhausting trip and a whirlwind of emotions for me, but I was so glad to be there!  I was so sore.  I moved in ways that I had forgotten to how move in.  Luckily I documented the occasion so you can read about the reunion and watch a video.  Now I only have 4 more years before the next reunion to get into some kind of shape!

denver broncs cheerleaders
Can you find me? I’m the blond! LOL!!

 

BALANCE

All projects in the house have been put on hold for a while. This basement  bathroom project has been sitting untouched for 2 months.   I have been trying to balance all of the things that come with working full-time and taking care of a spouse with cancer.  Taking care of my home the way I WANT TO and have been able to do for more than two decades and accepting that I can’t. Writing a blog that is supposed to be full of inspiring projects but really not having the time to inspire or be inspired.  Having to choose between spending precious moments with my family and taking care of my health.  It has been a challenge to find the balance.

project
This tile is so beautiful…I can’t wait to get it done!

Speaking of balance, my daughters and son-in-law started a company called Balance Athletica. Just in case you didn’t know, they started an athletic apparel company and it has been successful so far.  They wanted to have the headquarters for the company in Denver so they moved to Denver from Indianapolis in May.  Taylor and Chloe grew up there and Steve couldn’t wait to experience a new city.  As exciting as it was for them, it was devastating to me. Taylor and Steve drove off into the dark morning with all of their belongings and my grand-dogs.   I cried as I watched their tail lights fade.  I bawled for the entire day and the next one, too.  Then, just a couple of weeks ago, my other daughter asked me to help her pack up a pod with her things, she sold her car, and left for Denver to help run their new company.  I knew it was just a matter of time before she would go, too.  I just didn’t expect it so soon.  I bawled as I dropped her off at the airport and she bawled, too, saying she is going to miss me and I am her best friend. I bawled again for days.  All of that right after my husband got home from the hospital from another cancer surgery.  A lot of uncertainty with this surgery.  A lot of quick changes.

LOSS AND HEARTBREAK

Last Friday, we found out that one of my daughter’s close friends had a tragic passing.  She was 13 and it was at the hands of her father; the one who is supposed to be her last line of defense in this world.  Evil.  It has been a very tough weekend not only for our family, but our whole community.  She was supposed to come over and go to movie night with friends on Friday, but she never came to school.  She was supposed to go to the birthday party with all of the girls on Saturday, but she wasn’t there.  So now, the process of grieving has begun.  It is just the beginning and there are so many things to process.

Our schools have been great. So compassionate and understanding of the deep grief that has taken over an entire city.  See, her brother was also killed.  He was just 15.  A mother so deeply involved in our community lost her entire family in one moment because the coward took his own life, as well.  And every time I think of it all I start to cry.  The last memory of that little girl is of her sitting at my island eating homemade pancakes. She was so sweet, never had a bad thing to say about anyone and loved God.  And it is all heartbreaking. My daughter is angry, so sad and confused, crying every day.  We are dealing with three major things she and her peers have to process:  their friend’s death, the way the children passed and the fact that it was their father and he will have no consequences in this world for it.  Pray for us all.

Grief

CHANGES

Some things I have done to make things a little better with my job have come with some compromise.  My husband still works full-time so when he is home, he needs to rest.  His treatments make him tired and, bless his heart, his need to take care of us is a driving force.  He needs his rest when he is home.   Needless to say, there isn’t a lot of help with the house.  I have learned to just accept it.  I am away from home all day. When I walk in the door it’s messy and I have just learned to deal with it. I don’t like it, but I deal with it because I know the bigger picture.  The kids do try to help, but they have academics and sports that also take their time.  I have learned to accept a “new” normal within my home and I do what I can do.

I love sharing on this blog, and have so many ideas and things to share and it really makes me excited!!  So, I need to just write.  I can write. I miss my daughters, but am going to visit soon and can’t wait.  My bestie lives there so I will get to see her, and my mom is coming along, too, so it will be a great trip.  It gives me an excuse to go back home to Denver and keeps me engaged.  I talk on the phone to the girls a lot, so I am ok.

And my health….well I gave up making excuses and decided to bring the wellness into our home.  I am used to INTENSE workouts with weights and cardio.  My “workouts” look very different now.  I want wellness.  Mental and physical…I need it.  I walk before work and then at night we all do yoga as a family before bed.  I actually love it because it is really benefiting my husband’s health, we are spending a little time as a family each night and our mental state is grounded. Peace is found.

The sun will rise tomorrow.

I hope that by sharing all of these things with you, that you will extend grace for my absence and prayers for the altering events that surround us and our community.  Cancer is no joke.  Mental health is no joke.  Finding grace and accepting a new normal is a hard road to navigate but I am here to tell you that it is possible with hope.  And peace.  And prayer…..a lot of prayer.

SOMETHING GOOD

Here is some good news!!  I am excited to share that I am starting a “She Can Do It” series that will talk about all of my favorite tools one by one and explain why they are my favorite and how to use them along with a video.  You can find my Top 10 favorite tools here.  Are you excited for this series?  I am and I would love to hear what you are afraid to tackle in your home!

I have a friend who, no lie, has never used a hammer before….not even to put a nail into the wall.  And she is over 40!  She thinks I am crazy. Though I think she is secretly envious of my crazy my skills because nothing gets done in her house until her husband decides it is a good time to do it.   And she is too afraid to try.  If I had to wait for my husband, bless his heart, nothing would be done because he just never has the time! Nor does he care as much as I do that it gets done.  How many women feel the same?  Can I get a show of hands?

No one ever taught me anything until I paid someone to tell me what to get and how to use it.  It is so empowering to have knowledge that lets me reach for and accomplish my DIY dreams and goals.  If your dream is to DIY the heck out of life or simply hang a picture, I hope to give you the tools to start attacking those dreams!

I will be covering everything from simply using a level and tips on hanging art to building cabinets and getting down and dirty with your home. The guys are welcome to follow along.  I have just found that not very many women know how to take on these tasks so I want to share it all in one place. You can see what I did with my tools here in the reveal of the craft room I built.  I had never built a cabinet before this project. You can start the series and read the journey of building the craft room from scratch here.

I hope you are excited!  Tell us what you have been dreaming of doing in your own home!  Want to learn a skill?  See a tool in action?  Sign up for my email newsletter and notifications of my new posts so you don’t miss a thing!  I challenge you to find one thing to be thankful for today that you never give much thought to on a daily basis…the air you breathe, the health of your children, your marriage….Have a great week!

 

 

Share with friends!

Only registered users can comment.

  1. Just got a chance to read this. I admire the grace you are showing with all the changes. I also appreciate your honesty about it. Life is often not easy and to pretend it is doesn’t help anyone.
    I admire your projects, but not sure DIY is in my future. I do operate under the philosophy ‘It’s easier to get forgiveness than permission,’ but I’m not sure how far I could push that 😉

    Thank you most of all for sharing your faith. May God bless you and your family.

    1. Hi, Diane! Thank you for your constant encouragement. Once you DIY you might be hooked! My hubby doesn’t care…as long as I finish a project. That is hard for me. I have many “butterfly” moments. Thanks!!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *